Fear and Denial

My  footsteps were silent in the plush red carpet. The gas lamps that lit the hall cast strange shadows against the dark, exquisite wooden walls reaching up to the enormously high ceiling. Apart from a moth hurling itself against a lamp, there was not a sound to be heard. I looked back down the hall, it was very long and almost disappeared into the dark before it turned a corner. I heard a creak, it's strange how old buildings do that for no apparent reason.

A thought started to form in my mind, or rather perhaps, a creeping fear. But before the fear materialised, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Peace my friend." came the rich and comforting voice of Julian. I turned and smiled with relief. Julian put his finger on his lips, "Change is good, but only when one is ready. Otherwise it will result in chaos." I nodded and Julian motioned with his hand, "What see you?" I peered down the hall and squinted "There must be a thousand lamps. I see red carpet and a hallway that disappears into the dark" Julian adjusted the black leather glove on his hand "It is well perceived, you note the light before the darkness. But there is more then meets the eye, my friend." The moth stopped flying at the lamp and fell to the ground motionless. I looked at Julian, "Will I become as such? I'm losing hope and I wear fear as a coat."  Julian's eyes twinkled, "Things will get better. Every ten minutes you'll come to a door. This probably doesn't make sense to you. Probably you'll go through life feeling like it's the inside of a huge concrete dome. But it's not. As I said there are doors everywhere. You can't understand until you can see, but if you can't see then you'll never understand. A paradox? I can't give you the answer because there is none. Everyone must make up their own mind about this."

I was alone in the grand hallway. The gas lamps shone against the beautiful deep red wood walls. I gazed at the designs and ornate cornices. The ceiling was almost hidden in in shadow, but I could see it was full of designs and symbology. I turned around and around, the red walls and red carpet glowed. The antique musk of the ancient building made my head spin, I saw faces laughing and screaming at me through the corners of my eyes. Then I saw it; a door. Only the slightest chink of light could be seen coming though the jamb. Suddenly I knew all along that there were doors. The memories came flooding back all at once, worlds within worlds, dreams within dreams. It left me feeling bewildered and my cheeks were hot. I felt out of breath and paused with my hand upon the doorknob, to let my heart slow, before turning it.